I use to be melohippiebiker, but aff freaked it out so ,this is me. I'm kind, honest, funny and get off on pleasing, especially orally.(ALL flavors but I have a passion for chocolate;)I am the perfect man inside, outside ...my body is far from perfect, lol.That belly makes me a great natural Santa. I wrote and published an underground book about joints ,called" The Original Unofficial Joint Smoking Rules." It grew to two sequels that are finished, and waiting for funding. They are called;"Breaking the Rules-a collection of lame excuses," and "The Original Unofficial Stoner Dictionary," plus a DVD ,lol. The joke keeps growing. I also just finished a book about my experiences as Santa. I'm still waiting on my illustrations so it's not available yet.I've been Santa for 27 years.I'm looking for a real publisher for it(hint hint lol).I know why there are two list(naughty and nice), the nice list is for Christmas eve, and the naughty list is for the rest of the year. My favorite girls are the women that are on both list !!!;)So who has seen Bad Santa(fuck me Santa, fuck me ) love it lol.Don't really care about age , race, or size, what counts is who you are.I have the nice guy finishes last syndrome. My theory is women don't really want a nice guy, even though they say they do. I believe most women are not happy unless they are bitching and the best thing to bitch about is some asshole boyfriend or husband.Someone PLEASE PROVE ME WRONG!!!I'm kind, honest, and funny.I do not lie (it's against the Santa rules).and I hate liars. The truth always comes out.Oh yea if you are going to send me to another site, do not waiste your time or mine. The rules say not to, follow the rules.

My Ideal Person funny, honest, intelligent,woman who loves to get eaten and have a man play with her forcing her to have many, many, many orgasms.

What are your favorite musicians or bands?:
canned heat, the dead, allman bros., asleep at the wheel,
santana, flecktones

What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
A remote wilderness spot, A hotel room, on a bike

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Light Bondage, Spanking, Role Playing, Voyeurism, Leather, Fisting, Massage

Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.

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