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Blogs > CeriosEros > The life & times of Zero Mega

Why I think guys message "Hey"  

CeriosEros 39M
615 posts
7/18/2018 3:10 am

Last Read:
7/24/2018 12:11 am
Why I think guys message "Hey"

Online dating sites! Or as I like to call them the seventh circle of hell. Not this place...AdultFriendFinder is only the 5 circle. They're a the main way that people meet nowadays. Or at least that's what I heard. I've never seen it. And it's also a great resource for busy single women to date a narcissist. But this story is about me. I've almost been signed up for every dating site there is. I drew the line at J DATE, East meets east and Farmers only for obvious reasons but any one that you can think of I've had a profile on. Tinder, Bumble, Zoosk, Plenty of fish, OK cupid, Match, Eharmoy, Black people Meet, Geek2Geek,Chemistry, Every Friend finder, Pure, Mingle and many more you never heard of like Rose brides. So I'm pretty much an expert. I know I'm not attractive enough for tinder or Bumble. Not successful enough for match or Eharmoy. I'm a conservative so black people meet is out of the question. My wheel house is in the Zoosk to plenty of fish range. I usually keep getting drawn to ok cupid because plenty of fish is the Kmart of dating sites. Caught in a time wrap and a bit depressing while Zoosk is Target. Great but a little to fancy for someone like me to be there. I'm at home at the Walmart of dating sites. At ok cupid you're going to see some shit that makes you loss faith in humanity but it's got everything you need.

That being said I have noticed that the main criticism of guys from women on dating sites is the uncreative messages of "Hey" or "What's up" followed closely by going from "Hey" to "How about you let me finger you" in 2.3 seconds. But we're not here to talk about fingering we're here to talk about hey. Now I'm a average guy who has average looks and average intelligence and I've sent hundreds of messages to women and I've sent one hey. I'm not proud of it but I felt the lure of the hey. If you think about it that's a good opener. It's subtle, a little mysterious and is a good set up to a compliment, joke or a playful jab. For example: Guy/ Hey, Girl/ Really, all I get is a hey, Guy/Don't blame me blame your parents, Girl/ What?, Guy/ They're the ones who made you so beautiful. How could you blame me for my mind going blank. You're lucky you got a hey. Boom, now you're in business.

Let's get real. There are only three reasons for a hey. One the guy is a dumb ass, uncreative or both. Two the guy is good looking an gets 10 messages a day and knows he doesn't have to put in much effort. Or third, what happened in my situation. Fatigue. I don't think women understand that if you're just a average guy trying to get a dating online can become a like trying to find a job by sending your resume to every company in your field that has an opending unprompted. A lot of rejection with no one responding to your efforts. It's a lot of work for no reward. Just think about it. How many times do you think you could read a profile and create an unique message based on what was written without getting anything in return accept wasted time? For me it was 73 times. In my cases it was a girl I knew wouldn't be into me but I had to try. She wore glasses, wore 40's sundresses and one of her pics was of her riding Falkor. That's the furry dragon from the never ending story. If you don't know what the never ending story is...How dare you. Go watch that movie right now. I am really attracted to offbeat women but I'm also a conservative which I stated earlier and offbeat women usually don't go for us. In fact she put in her profile no conservatives. But sometimes you just have to try.
So she got the hey.

CeriosEros 39M
642 posts
7/18/2018 3:25 am

 Ok, I've sent a Hey. I cried in the shower and scribed and scrubbed but I still feel dirty. But my biggest wish if for a woman to set up a experiment where she joined a dating sites as a guy. Would she get more success? Like how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop. The world may never know.


SxyHungFarmer69 49M

7/18/2018 3:43 am

 Thank you for the inspiration and awesome blog


pagancountrygirl 66F
Ask me for a photo
6466 posts
7/18/2018 3:48 am

 I once answered a message where all I initially got was "Jello". One word...and he spelled it wrong. It went down hill from there.
Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


ProfCocknCuntt 45M
603 posts
7/18/2018 4:13 am

 Good post! Its funny as allot of Women say this but still allot of Women send the same greeting or something of the lesser. Or how they say have a complete profile or something to that nature and theirs is not at all or written by AdultFriendFinder. Or this one is the funniest. No dick pics on your profile. Umm what site did you think you were signing on to? If you don't want too se a Dick pic then use the filter in your account settings and I am more then a Dick pic but maybe I come here too let my exhibitionist side out a bit and have a bit of fun. Everything of that!

Oh I forgot. Have a face pic on your profile or no reply but they have none. Or they ask for a face pic but don't have one for you. Sure I understand that has to be some like and chemistry but that goes both ways. How do you know I will like you and what you look like? And if you are first contacting someone proper dating etiquette suggest that while introducing yourself one should provide a pic.

From my time on here most (the majority) of Men on here are so trusty and desperate and just flat out perverted (not like me as I am in a good way) Women just come here and figure Men will give them what they want. Most Women are Narcissist also!

So it goes both ways. I can understand Women would want more then a hey but most men want the same and more so its a two gender thing my man!


Pleasureinc 60M  
2200 posts
7/18/2018 4:36 am

 Good posting. I may be unusual for men here as I always read the profile and craft my message to the individual woman's profile. Last week I sent a nice (I thought) introductory paragraph to a middle aged woman and her response was "ok"..................not even the three letter "Hey".


storkjwr18 48M

7/18/2018 7:08 am

 Interesting take on the hey. I see it as an opening. How do you start a conversation with someone in person? Hey/Hi/Hello etc... how are you/how you doin etc... I'm _______ and you wait for the response. Why should online be any different.

I get it, we are supposed to know exactly what to say instantly because we live in an instant society right? Truth not every person can read another's profile. So all they have is a tag line and photos to say I would like to get to know this person.

Now true, you may answer a hey and there is no intellect there or it becomes a bad conversation. Then you stop, easy peasy. On the other hand I assume that there are a lot of jerk out there who are just pic collecting, or rude, or crude, or what have you that have turned a lot of women (and some men) off completely. The rest of us suffer for the actions of others.

Good luck with your "hey" girl she sounds interesting and fun


black_magic2017 48M
17 posts
7/18/2018 7:42 am

 hehehehhe.. i love this...
Well, I am Nigerian, I live in England and i have a subtle London (chelsea) Accent,
"Hey" is about the coolest intro in IM realm, I mean, meaningful bespoke intros are just a bloody waste of time.., anyway most of the women miss the pun, if any was intended

Re emails...well i am the Copy and paste king, but i think the image on my profile, somehow triggers some interest.. maybe!! Works for me!! sometimes i have to pass the unwanted interest to my fellow "flange" chasers , lol , I love the word "Flange"!!


P.S great post..
Looking forward to reading your replies too


CeriosEros 39M
642 posts
7/20/2018 2:24 am

 Thanks for reading but this blog isn't inspirational. It's more like a sack full of wet cats. It's just presents so many questions you never thought you'd have to ask.


CeriosEros 39M
642 posts
7/20/2018 2:28 am
    Quoting pagancountrygirl:
    I once answered a message where all I initially got was "Jello". One word...and he spelled it wrong. It went down hill from there.
Respect for giving the jello guy a shot. Some of us weren't born with charming or an functional education system. You took a chance.


CeriosEros 39M
642 posts
7/20/2018 2:37 am
    Quoting ProfCocknCuntt:
    Good post! Its funny as allot of Women say this but still allot of Women send the same greeting or something of the lesser. Or how they say have a complete profile or something to that nature and theirs is not at all or written by AdultFriendFinder. Or this one is the funniest. No dick pics on your profile. Umm what site did you think you were signing on to? If you don't want too se a Dick pic then use the filter in your account settings and I am more then a Dick pic but maybe I come here too let my exhibitionist side out a bit and have a bit of fun. Everything of that!

    Oh I forgot. Have a face pic on your profile or no reply but they have none. Or they ask for a face pic but don't have one for you. Sure I understand that has to be some like and chemistry but that goes both ways. How do you know I will like you and what you look like? And if you are first contacting someone proper dating etiquette suggest that while introducing yourself one should provide a pic.

    From my time on here most (the majority) of Men on here are so trusty and desperate and just flat out perverted (not like me as I am in a good way) Women just come here and figure Men will give them what they want. Most Women are Narcissist also!

    So it goes both ways. I can understand Women would want more then a hey but most men want the same and more so its a two gender thing my man!
I think men and women have different availability for sex and they're used to a certain amount of wooing for lack of a better word. Because dick is like rocks to women. All they have to do is bend over and one will be there.


CeriosEros 39M
642 posts
7/20/2018 2:38 am
    Quoting  :
Thanks for reading but i don't know how to respond to this.


CeriosEros 39M
642 posts
7/20/2018 2:46 am
    Quoting Pleasureinc:
    Good posting. I may be unusual for men here as I always read the profile and craft my message to the individual woman's profile. Last week I sent a nice (I thought) introductory paragraph to a middle aged woman and her response was "ok"..................not even the three letter "Hey".
That's pretty much standard. Guys are just used dick salesman and women have pussy cash. Most of the time not matter how good your sales pitch is women think that their pussy cash could buy them a better model of dick. You just got to keep trying. Thanks for reading.


CeriosEros 39M
642 posts
7/20/2018 3:07 am
    Quoting storkjwr18:
    Interesting take on the hey. I see it as an opening. How do you start a conversation with someone in person? Hey/Hi/Hello etc... how are you/how you doin etc... I'm _______ and you wait for the response. Why should online be any different.

    I get it, we are supposed to know exactly what to say instantly because we live in an instant society right? Truth not every person can read another's profile. So all they have is a tag line and photos to say I would like to get to know this person.

    Now true, you may answer a hey and there is no intellect there or it becomes a bad conversation. Then you stop, easy peasy. On the other hand I assume that there are a lot of jerk out there who are just pic collecting, or rude, or crude, or what have you that have turned a lot of women (and some men) off completely. The rest of us suffer for the actions of others.

    Good luck with your "hey" girl she sounds interesting and fun
I see what you're saying but in real life you get a lot of non verbal information and social ques that's why it works. You could be a professional kidnapper for all she knows. She can't read your body language or hear the tone of your voice to get a sensd of you. Online that's not possible so unless you'rea male model and your attractiveness overrides her brain you're going to need more than hey.


CeriosEros 39M
642 posts
7/20/2018 3:25 am
    Quoting black_magic2017:
    hehehehhe.. i love this...
    Well, I am Nigerian, I live in England and i have a subtle London (chelsea) Accent,
    "Hey" is about the coolest intro in IM realm, I mean, meaningful bespoke intros are just a bloody waste of time.., anyway most of the women miss the pun, if any was intended

    Re emails...well i am the Copy and paste king, but i think the image on my profile, somehow triggers some interest.. maybe!! Works for me!! sometimes i have to pass the unwanted interest to my fellow "flange" chasers , lol , I love the word "Flange"!!


    P.S great post..
    Looking forward to reading your replies too
IM's are a different story. They work because a it closely mimics a conversation in real time. A long speech comes off as rehearsed or tying to hard. The email are what I meant. I tried the copy and paste method early on but I kept getting called out for not having anything unique in the message. Maybe I need lessons from the King or at least throw some flange my way.


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